I started out by asking them about how they would react in different conflict scenarios. I could not believe their answers. Most of them talked about how they would gather information about the situation and try to reason with the person who they were having issues with. I told them that I was impressed and that I felt they were more mature then I am. My instinct when someone raises their voice to me is to raise mine back, not to return with a soft answer. I know it is not the Biblical response but it is the human response.
A couple of interesting conclusions came from the discussion with the students. Firstly, by giving a soft answer you knock the person off balance. They were not expecting it. They are expecting the human response of you lashing back. It kind of takes the wind out of their sails.
Secondly, by answering softly or holding our tongue altogether the other person comes off in a negative way. One of the students told a story about Napoleon and one of his officials. He said that Napoleon and the official were arguing and instead of the official responding he stood there and allowed Napoleon to continue with his rant. We talked about how this makes the angry person look and how it makes the other person look. If people are observing the exchange, then the angry person looks like a fool who has no control. While the other person, comes off as being innocent and under control. Which is a better witness for God?
Thirdly, we need to work on giving control to God. We should not give into our human nature. God can help us remain calm so tension does not build and a resolution to the situation can be found.
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