But what if the word was redefined? What if instead of fighting, opposing or challenging, we define it as urge, encourage or exhort? What kind of picture would you see then?
"The word exhort comes from a combination of two words in the original language: the word to call and the word alongside. It conveys the idea of calling one alongside for the purpose of helping him or her pursue right (Conflict Management for Church Leaders; Goodall, Wayne, 2010)." With this definition you aren't attacking but coming alongside to correct, encourage and redirect.
As a teacher, I am constantly having to confront poor behavior and bad decisions in the classroom. In one particular instance I had an upper classman in a freshman class. The young lady thought it would be OK to be rude and disrespectful in front of the younger students. It was creating a disruption and encouraging disrespectful behavior from the others. But after reading this lesson, I thought about changing the methods I use. I don't have to assert my authority as the teacher. Instead I pulled the older student aside and explained the observations I had made about the students' attitudes. We discussed what was causing it and how she could help to correct it by setting the example. So by coming alongside I encouraged her to be a positive leader which changed the attitude of the others. If I had used a more aggressive method (boxing) I would have embarrassed and angered her, increased her bad behavior which would have increased the bad behavior of the class.
In the future instead of confronting by tearing down, we should confront by building up. It may take longer but the results will be a lot greater.
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